We are Rome.

If I learned anything from this trip, I learned this: the USA is Rome. The shadow of Rome is vast, and it shall swallow you.

The Shadow of the USA is vast. Pax Americana. It touches, colors, contorts, shades, and kisses everything that lives on this earth.

In this city, where I experienced culture shock for the first time in my life, I can… congregate with solely Americans, eat American food, learn not a lick of the local language, and reasonably presuppose American values permeate to at least a portion of the population.

There is no law but American law. I can break whatever this-country law I want, and yet I can flash my blue passport. I can appeal to the American embassy. There may be a media scandal waiting. Japan, my-country, Taiwan, China, it doesn’t matter. I am a Roman, and Roman law prevails over all.

If this sounds haughty, it is because it is. Taiwan is not even a real country; those who profess it is are as delusional as Afrocentrists. My country of origin and Japan, however, are powerful economies. But they are subjugated to Rome. Still... I do not need to listen to their laws, simply because my passport is blue.

How else can I explain this?

Sybaris.

This city is killing my soul. It chips away at it day by day. 

It encourages moral degeneracy on a scale far larger than Las Vegas. Las Vegas feels like a quaint town by the sea compared to Sybaris.

I thought I’d rediscover my cultural roots here. Don’t we all, all we 2^nd-generation children of immigrants, no matter what our ethnic backgrounds… don’t we all look to our respective La Patries as a way to reconnect with our roots? Instead, I am discovering how little, if anything, I have in common with La Patrie. I need to be far, far more xenophobic or sexist or racist or materialistic or elitist to fit in. Right now, I am the “weirdo”.

I usually feel rejuvenated when I go abroad, but this—this—is different. I need to get out of here; the prevailing mentality and available entertainment here is clotting my bloodstream, it’s a single cell of cancer that is going to spread and utterly destroy any moral fiber if I stay here too long.

How do I be more specific. How how how. Let’s see. The alcohol is cheaper than water here. The cigarettes are cheaper than a Jumbo Jack. I suppose that’s a bit superficial though; those are only the tools that encourage degeneracy.

The patriarchal, xenophobic mindset here is overwhelming and omnipresent; it is extremely alienating for me, and makes me homesick. I’ve never gotten homesick before in my life until now. Everyone takes for granted how a girl should “act”, everyone assumes certain “truths” about other races and take it as gospel. 

This is a city where the first, first thing girls ask me is “what car do you drive” or “what job do you/your family do.” Louis Vutton, Gucci, soju, sake, bright lights –bright lights!!--, no last call, strict segregation, rampant sexism and racism, bleary-eyed zombies, deceitful taxi-cab drivers, beautiful well-dressed girls, Hermes, making fun of poor people, it’s making me dizzy.

This city is killing my soul. I need to get out of here.